{"id":6672,"date":"2026-01-04T06:40:09","date_gmt":"2026-01-03T22:40:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/glacieredu.com\/?p=6672"},"modified":"2026-01-04T08:13:42","modified_gmt":"2026-01-04T00:13:42","slug":"e4-b8-ba-e5-95-a5-e4-bd-a0-e5-ae-b6-e4-ba-92-e6-83-a0-e7-94-9f-e6-80-bb-e9-97-b9-e5-b0-8f-e7-9f-9b-e7-9b-be-ef-bc-9f-e5-88-ab-e8-ae-a9-e7-bb-86-e8-8a-82-e5-bc-ba-e8-bf-ab-e6-af-81","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glacieredu.com\/en\/e4-b8-ba-e5-95-a5-e4-bd-a0-e5-ae-b6-e4-ba-92-e6-83-a0-e7-94-9f-e6-80-bb-e9-97-b9-e5-b0-8f-e7-9f-9b-e7-9b-be-ef-bc-9f-e5-88-ab-e8-ae-a9-e7-bb-86-e8-8a-82-e5-bc-ba-e8-bf-ab-e6-af-81\/","title":{"rendered":"Why does your au pair always have conflicts? Don't let the \u201cdetails\u201d ruin the intercultural bond!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Why does your au pair always have conflicts? Don't let the \u201cdetails\u201d ruin the intercultural bond!<\/h2>\n\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n
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Glacier has been running an au pair program for many years, and parents often ask: \u201cWhy does my au pair always get into trouble with me over the smallest things? In fact, it's not about who is right or who is wrong, it's about the cross-cultural compulsion for details - if you are too strict about the details of life and tie your au pair down to the bone, can they not be uncomfortable? Today, let's talk about these common potholes and give you a few tips to avoid them!<\/p>\n

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  1. \n

    Hygiene habits: don't let the standard of \u201ccleanliness\u201d become a trigger for quarrels! \u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Different countries have a much different understanding of \u201cclean\u201d, and it's easy to misunderstand if you get too caught up in the details:<\/p>\n

    - Object placement: have to make people do what you do?<\/p>\n

    We met an au pair from a German family who complained to us: \u201cWhat's wrong with putting my skin care products on the bathroom counter? It's convenient for me to use it! But my host family insisted me to put it in the cupboard, saying that there should be nothing on the countertop, which is so annoying!\u201d This kind of \u201cnot a bit bad\u201d requirement makes people feel that they don't even have any personal space.<\/p>\n

    - Cleaning standards: the quest for \u201cperfection to the core\u201d?<\/p>\n

    Some families require \u201cnot a single grease stain\u201d on the kitchen stove, and even wipe the edges of the stove with a white rag to find problems; the floors are mopped and washed every day, and there is \u201cnot a single hair\u201d. A Spanish au pair said: \u201cI was exhausted after cleaning the kitchen, but my hosts still said there were stains to be re-wiped, and I felt like I could never live up to their expectations!\u201d<\/p>\n

    Court Leahy Tips:<\/strong>Make a \u201ccleaning pact\u201d with your au pair ahead of time - where you must be strict (e.g. children's pantry area) and where you can be flexible (e.g. where to put your personal skincare products), and use a consultative tone of voice, don't give commands, so that everyone is comfortable.<\/p>\n

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    1. \n

      Schedule: Don't treat people like robots.\u201c \u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Au pairs have to take care of their children, learn Chinese, and keep busy with their own business, so if you are too stuck in a routine, they will break down:<\/p>\n

      - Time accuracy: not even by two minutes?<\/p>\n

      One family asked their au pair to wake up at 7:00am every day to make breakfast, even if they took care of the children until midnight the night before, and were told to be 2 minutes late. This kind of \u201czero buffer\u201d requirement makes people think that you don't care about them at all.<\/p>\n

      - Schedule: no changes at all?<\/p>\n

      One family made it mandatory to do crafts with their children at 3:00 p.m., even if the children wanted to go out and play that day. The au pair said helplessly, \u201cI'm like a robot, I don't even have a little bit of autonomy to choose!\u201d<\/p>\n

      Court Leahy Tips:<\/strong>When you set up a schedule, leave some \u201cflexible time\u201d (for example, you can get up \u00b1 5 minutes), and when there are special circumstances (children are sick, au pair has an emergency), communicate and adjust the schedule, the rules are dead, but people are alive!<\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

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      1. \n

        Eating Habits: Don't Let \u201cEating\u201d Become an Embarrassing Scene \u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Food is at the heart of culture, and if you force people to follow your standards, it's easy to hurt their self-esteem:<\/p>\n

        - Utensil use: a \u201cright or wrong\u201d?<\/p>\n

        A Spanish au pair used the wrong knife and fork and was publicly corrected by her family, her face was red to the ears - what's wrong with using cutlery casually in Spain? In Spain, what's wrong with using cutlery casually? How embarrassing is it for them to be picked on in public?<\/p>\n

        - Food handling: too much of a hassle, right?<\/p>\n

        Some families require cut fruit to be put in the refrigerator immediately and vegetables must be cut in a specific way. Au pairs spouted, \u201cIt takes longer to process food than it does to cook it every day, it's too much of a chore!\u201d<\/p>\n

        Court Leahy Tips:<\/strong>First understand the eating habits of the home country (for example, Spaniards use utensils casually, Germans are strict about food storage), and then tell them about your home habits, so as to compromise with each other! For example, you can cut up fruits and put them in the refrigerator, but you are allowed to eat them for a short period of time, and you don't need to be obsessed with the \u201cstandard posture\u201d as long as the utensils are easy to use.<\/p>\n

         <\/p>\n

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        1. \n

          Gerlach's heartfelt advice: don't \u201cforce\u201d, \u201ctolerate\u201d!\u201d \u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Au pair programs are supposed to be about people from different countries getting along and learning from each other - your children learning a foreign language and your family experiencing multiculturalism. When you are matched with an au pair, we will help you to clarify the details in advance:<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Make a \u201csmall list\u201d: write down the \u201cbottom line requirements\u201d and \u201cflexible space\u201d for hygiene, work and rest, and food, so that you don't have to worry about it later;<\/li>\n
          2. Monthly Chat: Have a monthly meeting with your au pair to talk about what's bothering you, so you don't save it up for a big conflict;<\/li>\n
          3. Free Intercultural Classes: We offer free intercultural getting along classes for families to help you understand the customs of different countries and step in fewer potholes.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

             <\/p>\n

            \u00a0A final word: details are \u201clubricants,\u201d not \u201cstumbling blocks.\u201d \u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n

            Inviting an au pair is a wonderful thing, but don't let the \u201cforced details\u201d ruin the relationship. We always think that by respecting differences and being flexible, we can achieve a \u201cwin-win\u201d situation - your child will be happy learning a foreign language and your home will be warm and lively!<\/p>\n

            If you're looking for an au pair, or you're already having problems getting along with one another, talk to our team of au pairs and we'll customize a solution that will make cross-cultural encounters easy and enjoyable!<\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u4e3a\u5565\u4f60\u5bb6\u4e92\u60e0\u751f\u603b\u95f9\u5c0f\u77db\u76fe\uff1f\u522b\u8ba9\u201c\u7ec6\u8282\u5f3a\u8feb\u201d\u6bc1\u4e86\u8de8\u6587\u5316\u7f18\u5206\uff01 \u9601\u6765\u5e0c\uff08Glacier)\u505a\u4e92\u60e0\u751f\u9879\u76ee\u8fd9\u4e48\u591a\u5e74\uff0c\u7ecf\u5e38 [...]","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":955,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pmpro_default_level":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6672","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","pmpro-has-access"],"yoast_head":"\n\u4e3a\u5565\u4f60\u5bb6\u4e92\u60e0\u751f\u603b\u95f9\u5c0f\u77db\u76fe\uff1f\u522b\u8ba9\u201c\u7ec6\u8282\u5f3a\u8feb\u201d\u6bc1\u4e86\u8de8\u6587\u5316\u7f18\u5206\uff01 - glacieredu.com<\/title>\n<meta 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