Avoiding Foreign Au Pair #4 Myth: Too much to ask = treating au pairs like nannies? Don't let a high-priced commitment be ruined by role mismatch!
As Glacier has been specializing in cross-cultural family education for many years, we have seen too many au pair programs flop because of excessive demands: parents treat their au pair like a 24-hour nanny, dumping their children and working overtime, and eventually the au pair crashes and flees, leaving the children without cross-cultural companionship. One of our core services is to help you clarify the boundaries of your role, so that your au pair can stay with you and your child can grow up happily!
Myth 4: Au pairs are treated like “free babysitters” and too much is asked of them, forcing them away from quality companionship.
Parent FAQ:
- Dumping full-time childcare: au pair is called to wake up at 7:00 am to change the baby's clothes and feed her, pick her up from school in the afternoon, put her to bed + bathe her at night, and take care of her baby all day on weekends;
- Overtime without boundaries: Working well beyond the industry standard of 20-30 hours per week, au pairs lose time to learn Chinese and experience the culture;
- Misplaced responsibilities: Au pairs are given core parental responsibilities such as changing diapers and putting them to bed late at night, ignoring their nature as “cultural exchangers”.
Consequences: the au pair has an anxiety breakdown (even submits an early departure request), the child loses quality companionship due to the au pair's poor mood, and the family's investment is wasted.
The Glacier solution: 3 steps to keep your au pair safe and secure
By “two-way constraints + real-time intervention”, Gerlach avoids the misunderstanding of “nannyization” from the root:
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Pre-contract: clear boundaries of responsibility, written into the contract
- Customized “Responsibility List”: Define the au pair's "do's/don'ts" according to the family's needs:
✅ Can do: play games with, read English picture books, go for a walk outdoors (language interaction scenarios);
❌ Don't do: change/bath children independently, put them to bed late at night (core parental responsibility);
- Time lock: Strictly agree on the weekly responsibility time (20-30 hours), beyond which extra payment (or adjustment of time) has to be negotiated and written into the contract between both parties to protect the rights and interests of the au pair.
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After moving in: two-way training + regular return visits
- Parent training: distribute the “Au Pair Role Boundary Handbook” and teach parents to distinguish between “accompanying” and "taking care of the child" (e.g., au pairs can brush the child's teeth with the au pair but the parent needs to take the lead; au pairs can assist with feeding, but cannot replace the parent). Au pairs can assist in feeding the child, but cannot replace the parents);
- Au Pair Communication: Courtesy Counselors visit the au pairs every week to ask if the working hours and tasks are reasonable, and intervene immediately to mediate if the family is found to be in violation of the rules (e.g. overtime);
- Emergency mediation: If the au pair wants to leave due to excessive demands, the agency arranges a tripartite meeting (parents + au pair + counselor) within 24 hours to readjust responsibilities and avoid disruption of the program.
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Long-term support: guarantee of space for cultural exchanges
- Families are encouraged to give their au pairs “free time”: e.g. 2 full days of rest per week, support for au pairs to participate in Chinese language classes, cultural activities (Gerlach organizes regular au pair parties), so that au pairs can feel more comfortable with “exchange” rather than “work” and are more willing to commit to companionship. This allows au pairs to feel a sense of "exchange" rather than "work" and to be more willing to devote themselves to accompanying each other.
The real case of Gerlach: from “Escape from the Edge” to “Happy Accompaniment”.”
Ms. Li from Shanghai hired a German au pair, Anna, to take care of her baby for 8 hours a day (including bathing and putting her to bed) at the beginning, but Anna insisted for 1 month and then submitted an application to leave. After the au pair's application was submitted, Anna insisted on leaving after 1 month:
- Re-sign the List of Responsibilities: Anna works 25 hours a week and is only responsible for playing with and reading picture books;
- Parental Adjustment: Ms. Lee assumes child care and Anna assists with interactions;
- Cultural support: Gao Laixi enrolled Anna in a Chinese class and organized the au pair's visit to Yuyuan Garden on weekends.
After 1 month, Anna took the initiative to extend the program period, and the child took the initiative to speak English with Anna every day, and also learned simple German words!
Glacier: Why do hundreds of families choose us?
In addition to avoiding the “too much to ask” myth, we also offer:
- Screening of quality au pairs: only au pairs who “love cultural exchanges and refuse to be nannies” are selected (the au pair is explicitly asked during the screening process whether she accepts excessive childcare assignments). Au pairs are selected from the following categories;
- Intercultural training: teaching au pairs to understand the “degrees” of the Chinese family (e.g. what constitutes assistance and what constitutes overstepping the boundaries);
- Full guarantee: In case of a violation by the family, Gerlach can replace the au pair free of charge (to ensure that the program is not interrupted);
- Cultural outreach: Cultural activities for au pair families are organized every month (e.g. dumplings, museums) so that au pairs can really integrate and be more willing to accompany their children.